Grammar or How to Make Your Grandma Live Longer

I used to not really care about grammar. To me, grammar seemed like broccoli, cholesterol, or the Libertarian party: I never really knew it's importance until I got much older.


With age, I have seen  the speed of communication increase with the use of technology. With our use of acronyms (ttyl, g2g, and SBD) and texting options, we have a choice: to be accurate and slower, or not accurate and finish this before I go to class. One makes English teachers proud and the other makes them request another drink from the metaphorical bar that all teachers drink at after school.



When I have corrected people's grammar in texts and a few conversations, I have gotten annoyed responses:

"Hey man, why you gotta be all grammar Nazi."

"Oh, c'mon, you know what I mean..."

"Thanks. I really needed to be reminded. Hey, does like rag smell like chloroform to you?"

or even "Don't talk to my mom like that!"

Sometimes I feel like this...

I know that rules of language ebb and flow, but why do we have to accept this current change? While I imagine many formal English people probably thought Chaucer's middle English sounded barbaric, sometimes I think the same with present-day slang. (Granted, I can pick up words like "swag" "kk" and "totes magotes perf" much easier than "Whan that aprill with his shoures soote, the droghte of march hath perced to the roote".)


However, I think we are missing the point here.


Aside from the fact that bad grammar makes you sound inarticulate, grammar can  actually change the meaning of sentences.


The classic example being:

Let's eat, grandma! (Jovial invite for dinner with elderly relative).

Let's eat grandma! (Jovial invite for cannibalism).



While extreme, a more recent example may hit closer to home.

A recent facebook status yielded the phrase: "I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on."

Much to the status writer's chagrin, this phrase changes meaning with the words "then" and "than". While we think we know the original intent of this clever use of wordplay, grammar plays a major part in the meaning of this joke. Sounding smart can make you sound very dumb if we don't pay close attention to grammar.


Now, I'm the first one to admit, I have looked down upon people who don't use proper grammar. I have called them names like "dullard" or "lazy" or even "Bob" (if you're reading this, next grammar lesson is on me Bob!).

I'm sorry for judging you.

However, when will it end? What hill are we going to die on for the sake of clear communication? When will we stop short changing communication because "it's easy" or "it saves my thumbs from hurting" or "I feel awkward when I talk to people in person".


I know, conversation is hard. I know that technology sure makes it easier to vent to millions of people that Justin Bieber is the hottest man alive. I'll even buy that it's a great marketing tool.


(Does marketing work in blogs? Ask Chase, the world's best blog writer who needs a date, and find out what blogging can do for YOU!).


However, how long will we blame technology for our own laziness not use rules we've known for years?


Technology is a  medium: it can't force nor give you permission to use proper grammar to make you sound like the intelligent person you are.

You have to give permission to yourself.